“You can't go home, no I swear you never can
You can walk a million miles and get nowhere
I got no where to go and it seems I came back
Just filling in the lines for the holes, and the cracks”
-Been Away Too Long, Chris Cornell
For those that follow this blog (thank you) or those that check it every time I submit or publish something, I’ve been on an extended hiatus. I was on and off active until about 6-7 years ago. Lots of things were happening. I was doing freelance for four different magazines/sites at the same time while I became a full-time professional writer for another. We had recently had our son, Dylan, and he came with all kinds of work, special needs, and a few health issues. He’s doing great for those that wonder. And I just kind of stopped.
Any of the above could be a good excuse, but that would be what it was, an excuse. The truth is, the reason, my heart wasn’t in it anymore. I had achieved something I had dreamed of for years, becoming a professional writer and I just sat on my laurels as the saying goes. I got comfortable and said this is good enough. I get to write, get paid a decent amount to do so, and I get to travel the world to boot. Not bad, I was happy but there was still an itch there. Somewhere in the bottom of my brain, I still wanted to get out and push more. I still wanted to be a fiction writer and possibly a novelist.
I tamped down these feelings for years. Everything was going so well why rock the boat? You can ignore an itch, so I did.
The pandemic happened and I ended up locked in the house with the wife and kid, luckily, I love them both and it wasn’t that bad. But I realized that the thing I did for a living was ok, and at times interesting, it wasn’t really scratching that itch. It was treading over the same ground time and again. The itch was intensifying.
Coming back to a “normal” life I started to see that I had all of this fiction and all of these ideas that were just sitting there. I missed the hustle. Looking over what I have it needs some updating and changing but I dipped my toe in. I sent some things out there. This was met with a form rejection and then a personal rejection. The talent is still there. I just need to use it.
I went from having nothing out to editing and rewriting 17 pieces and then researching markets and getting them all out there. This is all fiction. I have a few ideas for pitches that I’m starting to flesh out and I’ve polished up the first part of a novel that, as far as I’m concerned, is a pretty neat read. I’m not sure if I would get as heavy into reviews as I once was, but I do miss that as well, so don’t be surprised if I start cranking those out again.
It feels good to be back to my old self. While at first, I may not have a lot to say here, I’m going to try to keep it a little more regularly updated.
-adam
